His love broke through

So I went to church today. I got there in the middle of worship and was trying to not be distracted and just focus on His presence. I used to be on the worship team so I always feel the need to do something during that time of worship, like i have a duty to take care of. Anyway, I was there with my eyes closed and then there was this girl who is sort of new to the team singing a solo “how he loves”. I used to sing that song at this church so at first it was a little weird adjusting to the difference, I felt like they replaced me…like i wasn’t good enough (even though i stepped down from the team), i felt like there was someone better, prettier, etc. But somehow all of that changed mid-song. I wasn’t annoyed anymore, I recognized the anointing and my perspective changed. God broke through. 

Now it was just me and Him, I was overwhelmed by His beauty. It wasnt about me and my complaints anymore, it wasnt about me at all. I tried making it about me and it was wrong. That’s not worship. Worship is ALL about Him. It’s abandonment, it’s turning your back and shutting the door on the enemy, it’s laying at His feet and knowing you are nothing without this Man. It’s gazing.

The Lord started showing me something. I had a vision of this irish wolfhound that i saw at the farmers market yesterday. Specifically, the Lord had highlighted the left front leg where the dog had a wrapped up wound. He was showing me that He really IS kind and caring. Like the owner of the dog, He saw that the dog was hurting, the dog had a problem and needed help. He took the dog to get surgery on the leg and even though the healing for the dog hurt him, it was helping him and the wrap helped to keep his leg steady when he stood or walked. God showed me that he was healing me and wanted to continue. He showed me that he was taking care of my wounds, that he doesn’t ignore my pain. All he asks for is a heart that is in complete surrender to His. His love broke though all my insecurities, my pain, my pride, my shame, the lies from the enemy…

Oh, how He loves… 

As the season changes so goes my life.

So, many changes have occurred since I last posted. Let's start with all the answered prayers--I got accepted to the University of Missouri in Kansas City!! I will be moving there in late May. God totally gave me direction on that! Secondly, I got a scholarship  for this school that will cover all my out-of-state fees which is over $10,000! God is good. :) I also got a job mid-december, i work selling cellphones. I can save money for my living expenses in Kansas City. I'm excited to get myself back in the prayer room at the International House of Prayer in KC.

God has spoken and been so faithful to me. His plan for my life is unravelling and I'm excited. I'm gonna keep running with Him because He's the best Father. :)

Onething was also pretty amazing. God worked on issues in my heart. He began the work there and is continuing to be faithful and cleaning me until every last spot is gone. I love Him so much!