Sometimes we feel as though we are going through a season of testing and trials. During these times we sometimes forget how close God really is to us. When we go through the fire we will not be burned, even if it gets tough, Jesus is never going to leave our side, He can't even think about it for a second because this would go against His character which would make Him a liar, the devil wants us to so believe that God has abandoned us in our pain but Jesus is not a liar, never has been, never will be. Looking at the occupation of a refiner, he never leaves the gold in the fire alone but he has to stay there next to it and watch it as all the impurities begin to break the surface so He can quickly remove them. If the gold is fully melted, it's easier for the refiner to skim the top and remove the dirty pieces. He's faithful to finish the work He started.
Now that I said that, I had a similar experience this summer as the Holy Spirit began to yearn jealously for more holiness in my spirit. This caused me to become even hungrier for Jesus and I decided to embark on a 40-day Daniel Fast, strictly following the guidelines because I REALLY wanted to see various breakthroughs in my life. I had a few others interested in the fast so we all decided to do this together. During the fast, I felt as it was almost harder to seek or focus on God because my flesh was weak. Either way, it was a sacrifice that honored God and God honored me for it. Little by little the few others that were fasting with me dropped out of the fast and I felt like I was all alone. My family was going through a really tough time emotionally as well. But Jesus assured me that I was NOT alone, in fact, I had many who were right by my side all along. Right after the fast, the enemy came in so quickly to steal my joy by showing me something that a friend did to me in the past which I didn't know about and was wrong, this caused unforgiveness and bitterness to enter my heart. I was set on not forgiving this person because of what they had done to hurt another person in the body of Christ.
Now that I said that, I had a similar experience this summer as the Holy Spirit began to yearn jealously for more holiness in my spirit. This caused me to become even hungrier for Jesus and I decided to embark on a 40-day Daniel Fast, strictly following the guidelines because I REALLY wanted to see various breakthroughs in my life. I had a few others interested in the fast so we all decided to do this together. During the fast, I felt as it was almost harder to seek or focus on God because my flesh was weak. Either way, it was a sacrifice that honored God and God honored me for it. Little by little the few others that were fasting with me dropped out of the fast and I felt like I was all alone. My family was going through a really tough time emotionally as well. But Jesus assured me that I was NOT alone, in fact, I had many who were right by my side all along. Right after the fast, the enemy came in so quickly to steal my joy by showing me something that a friend did to me in the past which I didn't know about and was wrong, this caused unforgiveness and bitterness to enter my heart. I was set on not forgiving this person because of what they had done to hurt another person in the body of Christ.
Right after that I took a 10-day trip to Kansas City, MO to visit the International House of Prayer. The first few days were rough having that wound in my heart and being in such a great atmosphere, this caused me to feel uncomfortable. God finally pinned me down one day after I had tried ignoring what He wanted for a few days. This one day was hectic. My friend Adriana and I went to visit some museums downtown and then were going to the Awakening Service at FCF but we ended up getting into a car accident. I had an appointment at the Prophecy Rooms later that night so I HAD to be there. We tried everything we could in our power to get to the FSM building and when I entered the Prophecy Rooms, it was like I entered a room where it was just me and God. He talked to my heart so intimately and gently that I couldn't resist His spirit. Right then and there, Jesus reached into my heart and began the healing process. It did hurt to have to forgive but Jesus forgave me of so much more than one tiny sin so I knew it was only right to do that.
The trip I took to IHOP-KC was a time I desperately needed, the renewal and refreshing that came out of it was something I had been longing to feel. I needed to get more confirmation about the things God was calling me to and the identity He had already spoken in me. Satan tried so many times to make me stumble and to cause an angry spirit to influence me but Jesus has so much mercy, He saw me in my sin and had compassion because He saw my weak heart and my weak and broken "yes" to the moving of His spirit. Jesus has faithfulness more consistent than the morning light. Even when I wasn't faithful, He covered me with His faithfulness and I could never turn away from that. The fire was a hard place to be but God is a rewarder and I can hold Him to His word because so far I have seen blessings. I know the process of the fire isn't over but I know this, that I can trust Him with all that I have, give everything I have to live out the first commandment and to His kind spirit.
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