This morning a good friend and father figure in my life went to heaven. I have really mixed emotions about his passing. I know God's will has to be done no matter what. I trust that God always knows what He's doing and His plans are to work out everything for our good.
For the past few nights I have been having nightmares/ night terrors. It's been hard to get physical and spiritual rest just because of everything. Ever since I could remember, I've had two specific types of nightmares that just leave me in shock almost. I don't know why I have these but the feelings they cause me to feel are fear, pain, and almost isolation. I don't know if they're just attacks or there's some kind of meaning behind them.
I talked to a friend from IHOP-KC last night over the phone. We got to catch up on each other's lives and encourage each other. I told her I might not be able to go to the OneThing conference at the end of the year because of money issues so she prayed if God really wanted me to go, He would make a way and provide. This morning I woke up and checked Facebook. To my surprise Southwest Airlines is having a 3-day sale on flights to certain cities. So I really want to go now. I feel like that was God's way of saying "Yes". I'm also going to ask for people to possibly sponsor and support me.
I want to start writing songs again. Especially after this lady prayed for me at the Keith Miller meeting and said that I needed to release songs and psalms. Basically prayers in song form. God is currently teaching me about that. Just speaking to Him through my songs. It's very impacting because others go through the same feelings and situations and I feel like God wants to start something new with this.
Also, I feel some inspiration in the area of art. I got scriptures and put them into picture form. I've always wanted to draw things from the bible because it helped me understand the stories and scenarios better. But now I have combined scriptures from different testaments and books. They create a revelation in my mind like nothing else could.
I have this strange uneasy feeling in my stomach and it's like a mix of emotions that make me feel like my stomach wants to explode. It's not a physical feeling but I can feel it inside. Something is definitely stirring up. I'm currently reading "Is that really You, God?" by Loren Cunningham of YWAM. All the stories and adventures that he talks about just stir me up even more and make my heart yearn for the lost. Even though it's about learning to hear the voice of God and taking Him at His word, I get this yearning inside for the lost and the poor that have NO HOPE, because their IS HOPE and his name is JESUS.
-beautiful crown.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Embrace by Jake Hamilton // Marked by Heaven
My third self-portrait for my 2-D design class had to be an emotional one; some kind of memory or feeling that really impacted me. I had no idea what to do because most of my memories don't make too much sense to me in an artsy form. But this feeling of freedom kept coming to mind. So I got this picture in my head of shackles or a rope being broken or torn off and this sense of relief that "it's all gonna be okay". I thought about how Jesus said His Father takes care of the sparrows that are defenseless and have no home then surely He care more about the one's He created out of dust and called His friends.
The drawing is a sparrow flying out of it's cage because the door has been opened but there was a rope tied around it's neck attached to the door of the cage that was keeping it from REALLY being free. The moment I captured was when the rope had just ripped and the sparrow was truly free. I feel like when we cut off things that are going to hold us back, we really get a sense of that sparrow being free knowing that it's Maker is caring for it.
To me, it's shows that struggle that we go through wanting to be free but knowing we are only living in a false freedom such as a religious spirit or even holding yourself back from your full potential by always seeing the negative in yourself.
That moment of freedom is like no other. Yes, you are tired of struggling and trying to get free on your own, but when you let the Maker take care of you, you finally get what Jesus was talking about when He said "Don't worry about anything". Whatever you dream of doing; God has an even greater plan and dream for your life, it's all about trusting Him.
-beautiful crown
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
New art stuff
So I'm doing three self-portraits for my 2-D design class but I have never drawn any realistic human before so this is hard. I'm also realizing that I see myself differently than what I was drawing. lol
But so far the drawing is looking good, now i gotta work on getting my hair, skin, and eye color correct using oil pastels: blue, red, yellow, and white. So this is pretty tough. :/
I also worked with Indian Paint for the first time and its messy but kinda cool looking. I painted a still life of a cow/ bull skull. :P
But so far the drawing is looking good, now i gotta work on getting my hair, skin, and eye color correct using oil pastels: blue, red, yellow, and white. So this is pretty tough. :/
I also worked with Indian Paint for the first time and its messy but kinda cool looking. I painted a still life of a cow/ bull skull. :P
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