Even through afflictions, I still know Your affections.

I feel like I have been going through one of the roughest seasons in my spiritual life. I'm so occupied with school that I hardly get to do other things which is getting me stressed. I know God has to be preparing me for something, perhaps leaving to KC or something bigger.

Last night I was up most the night, because I took a nap yesterday and when I finally went to sleep I had really terrible nightmares. I woke up scared but relieved that I was awake. I started asking God what was going on and there was just silence for a few minutes. I started telling Him how this spiritual warfare or whatever it was made me feel and I started to cry a little bit. In one of the dreams, I got the revelation that my identity in Christ was going to be what scared the enemy the most. In the dream I started to declare that I was a daughter of the Most High, I was an heir of Christ, I said "I am His and He is mine! I am His and He is mine!" As I said that I felt empowered, not from mere words but from the realization that Christ loved me, He was going to see me through this valley of shadows. 

When I woke up I kept declaring over myself my identity in Christ and He spoke to me through a song that Misty Edwards sang last week in the prayer room. It says, "Angels, O Angels gather 'round! Angels, O Angels look and see! Angels, O Angels look and see, through that dark night of faith she's still gazing at Me!" I just broke down crying. I knew that God was there in the room with me. I knew that He loved me, He really loved me! It sounds cliche but I was filled with the Spirit and started crying out "You love me! You REALLY love me!!" It was such a tender moment with my Father. I knew that He would do ANYTHING to protect me and wouldn't let anything harm me. I knew that He heard my cry. I felt that I needed to release everything up to Him because He knows me better than I know myself. So I had an incredible encounter with the Lord at dawn. What an amazing God I have! <3